It is 10 years since the release of Before Midnight, the third instalment of the Before…trilogy, an artistic collaboration between director Richard Linklater and actors Julie Delpy and Ethan Hawke. Previous films Before Sunrise and Before Sunset are perhaps more overtly romantic with their focus on first love and the enduring connection between Céline and Jesse. But Before Midnight, with its depiction of a relationship under strain, presents a complex but ultimately more honest picture of real-life love.
In the opening scene of Before Midnight, Jesse is in an anonymous airport, saying goodbye to his son. There’s a feeling of distance between them already, an awkwardness that comes with saying goodbye to someone when you don’t quite know what happens next or when you might see each other again. We can feel Jesse’s concern for their relationship, we see it in the way he looks at his son as he walks through the gates. A mixture of love and regret.
Jesse slowly walks out of the airport, and into the sunshine. As he turns the corner, we see Céline waiting for him by the car, and realise that they are now together and have a young family of their own. It’s the fairy tale ending we hoped for.
However, all is not quite as it seems. The couple are on an extended holiday in Greece, staying with good friends. But despite the idyllic scenery, their relationship is strained. The pressures of family life, with two young girls to look after and Jesse’s patchy long-distance relationship with his son and difficult ex-wife, are a constant concern.
Céline seems distracted and worried about the future, with the burden of the past weighing heavy. She appears insecure about the strength of their relationship. ‘I’m surprised we lasted this long,’ she remarks as they drive home from the airport. It doesn’t feel like she’s joking.
We start to see cracks emerging. The reality of their life together is subtly exposed by little remarks and gestures here and there, little digs and niggles at each other, the small issues that linger unresolved but fester and eat away at the fabric of their relationship. The film is holding a mirror up and reflecting the truth, rather than that fairy tale we as the viewer might have hoped for.
The focus of the Before…films has always been on conversation. Céline and Jesse getting to know each other for the first time, then finding each other again and reconnecting. A meeting of minds. But this time around we witness the natural intimacy of two people who know each other completely, yet are struggling to understand each other. There is a weariness to them, suggesting the complexities of building a life together as a blended family have worn away at their connection. They are constantly being pulled in different directions. Romance has been replaced by responsibility.
It’s not just about the interactions between Jesse and Céline this time. Before Midnight is about conversations with others too. It gives the film wider context, as we see the couple contrasted with others who share their experiences and wisdom, and their thoughts on romance and love.
The group conversations in some ways set the tone for the rest of the film, raising important questions. Can a love affair last for ever? Is that realistic? The group ponder and discuss society’s obsession with romance, finding a soulmate, someone to help you forget yourself as you become one entity. But we are never really one person, always two individuals.
Love can also be about the compromises we make, or the constraints put on us. Enduring love can sometimes become the memory of a lover we once had. It’s about feeling safe and complete with someone. Passion fades. We are always evolving yet ultimately stay the same person. We are just passing through each other’s lives.
These conversations act as a lesson in stopping and noticing the simple but important things in life – family, friends, memories shared – and how important it is to cherish them.
The film also depicts the unwavering love of a parent for a child, the sacrifices you make, and the joy and heartache it can bring in equal measure. When you have children, your love for each other as a couple will inevitably change and be compromised.
Their friends have given the couple the ultimate gift though – time. They have booked a night in a hotel and are looking after the children, giving them some precious hours alone together away from their young family.
As they set off on the walk into town, almost immediately the couple become themselves again – the Jesse and Céline we know and love. They both acknowledge the difference it makes, ‘How long is it since we were just wandering around bullshitting?’ says Jesse, ‘When we had nowhere we had to be?’
Family life can be all-consuming. But then suddenly you have the chance to just be yourselves again and you realise why you are together in the first place. Walking, talking, laughing, teasing each other. The problems that dominate our thoughts just melt away and we become ourselves again, not just our designated roles in life. Looking, noticing things, watching the sunset together, glancing and seeing each other properly for the first time in ages. We see Céline and Jesse experience that as they wander.
However, the fractures in the relationship still show through. ‘Do you still find me attractive?’ Céline asks at one stage. But she doesn’t hear what she wants to hear from her partner. ‘You failed the test’ she tells Jesse. The couple are walking on eggshells again.
During their six weeks in Greece, the couple have been trying to escape from reality. But it will all still be there when they get back, the compromises and the differences. Perhaps they are just putting off the inevitable. Instead of enjoying an intimate moment, the couple argue. Submerged feelings and emotions bubble up to the surface and their reality is exposed again.
Céline comments on the lack of spontaneity in their lives but is too scared to turn her phone off in case there’s an emergency. Jesse wants to move their entire lives to another continent so he can be nearer his son but doesn’t acknowledge the impact that would have on Céline and her life and career. Blame, fault-finding, sarcasm as a weapon and a barrier, constantly circling back to the same long-standing issues and resentments in the relationship.
They are very different people. Jesse wants a rational conversation, Céline doesn’t see her emotional responses as a weakness, she finds strength in them. There’s the frustration of wanting to change someone yet also accepting them as they are. The film cleverly evokes that sense of feeling lost, like you’re doing everything wrong, but not knowing how to fix it. ‘We are in the garden of Eden and here we are fighting,’ Jesse comments.
Céline has never been comfortable with their relationship being used as the plot in Jesse’s novels. When the hotel receptionist asks them both to sign a copy of one of his books, she recoils and says it isn’t really her in the story. Like in Before Sunrise and Before Sunset themselves, Jesse’s books present a romanticised version of their love. But as Céline comments later, ‘We’re not in one of your stories Jesse.’
Céline questions whether they are still in love, if their relationship is even worth saving, if perhaps there is something missing. ‘If you want true love, then this is it. This is real life. It’s not perfect, but it’s real. And if you can’t see it then you’re blind,’ Jesse replies. They are both giving their all to each other and the relationship, but neither can see it.
Like the title suggests, in the film it feels like time is slipping away from Jesse and Céline. They are in the day’s dying light, counting down towards the midnight of their relationship. Previously we watched them making the most of their time together, not a minute wasted, endless possibilities ahead of them. Here instead we sense regret at opportunities missed or chances wasted, a thousand unspoken ‘if only…’ moments between them. Like before, the film builds towards an inevitable decision point in their relationship. But this time that decision weighs heavier.
Yet there is also a sense of hope. The pressure between them ebbs and flows as the film progresses. We see glimpses of them relaxing and being themselves, talking about what life means for them as individuals and then connecting again, seeing each other anew. Realising why they are together in the first place.
They acknowledge that connecting with each other and being present in the relationship is a struggle, and that they are in a difficult time of their lives. But they both seem to want to return to the romantic core of their bond.
At the end of the film it feels like Jesse and Céline have come full circle and are meeting each other again for the first time. Throughout the 18 years since that first chance meeting on a train, they have kept on returning to each other. Why would now be any different.
When you’re young you think you have all the time in the world, that love will be the answer to everything, and that it will last forever. You can take those chances in life. When you’re older you feel it will never come around again, that this might be your last chance at happiness. It can feel like the clock is ticking down towards midnight, and time is running out fast. Blink and before you know it, the day has ended. Was that it?
People are complicated and fallible, and relationships are hard work. Love won’t always feel like it’s enough. Responsibility can be overwhelming. It’s hard to feel desirable when you’re tired all the time. That all leads to all your insecurities coming to the surface. You blame the other person, and you take each other for granted.
Before Midnight reminds us that it’s normal to feel that way, that not always being sure what it is you really want is part of the journey. That you can find the strength to say how you’re really feeling. Sometimes we are just seeking reassurance. You just want someone to just say ‘you will be fine.’
We see Jesse and Céline enduring in a relationship weighed down by the pressures of family and work. But despite being a more uncomfortable watch, with its intimate and unflinching portrait of a partnership under strain, Before Midnight is the most the most realistically romantic film in the series. A take on modern relationships, the complexities of middle age and what it takes to build a relationship, to commit to each other and keep going. Theirs is a partnership forged in challenging circumstances, and reminds us what love really means.
At its heart there is hope in this film. Hope for the future, for their strength as a couple. They have a bond that has compelled them to always seek out and return to each other. Passion and romance might fade, but real love and connection endures. It’s never too late.
The Rest is Propaganda 